I think we all must have visions of how we'd expect ourselves to act in different situations. For example, in an emergency we'd like to picture ourselves like the doctors on ER taking control of the situation, calling for the necessary tests, procedures, and instruments to control whatever trauma has come through the doors. Unfortunately, the reality of my levelheadedness under unexpected situations is less like ER and more like America's Funniest Home Videos, where freak-outs and screaming are the norm.
My first glimpse into the reality of my less than stellar reaction was in college when a fellow student had a seizure during a quiz. No sooner had the professor left the room (honor system here folks) than a guy sitting right near me started to moan, shake and convulse. Other classmates jumped into action. One grabbed his pencil from him so he wouldn't hurt himself, another ran down the hall to call the University EMS, and I, who always assumed I'd be the one jumping to action, froze. Completely.
So I really shouldn't have been surprised by my reaction when the unexpected came flying through the girls room as I was reading a bedtime story. I looked up, initially thought it was a moth, but in one flap of wings my brain registered: BAT!!! AAACKKKK!!! Now you need to use your imagination and picture me trying to grab sheets to cover my head while screaming hysterically at top volume "BABE THERE'S A BAT IN HERE! AHHHHH!" Keep in mind that the girls were still in the room with me and weren't freaking out. Then the bat dive bombed me and landed right between Sammy's pillow and the wall, which was about 3 feet from where I was sitting. Bill, by that time, had come into the room to see what was happening thinking that one of the girls was gravely maimed or injured, based on the intensity of my screams. With the bat so close to me, I took off running (screaming all the way) into our bedroom. Bill had seen the bat fly up over my shoulder as I flew past him, realized what the heck I was screaming about, and was sensible enough to scurry the girls out of the room. I however, was in "Save Yourselves!" mode. The girls and I hid in our bedroom, Bill in the guest room. The two of us guarded our doors while peeking out as the bat did laps around our apartment, and you better believe that we closed our doors as it approached.
Bill: What do we do??
Me: (from behind my bedroom door) Open the doors!! (meaning for HIM to open the double doors that lead to our balcony and outside)
The man of action, quickly left the safety of the guest room to fling open the balcony doors and was back behind the guest room door before the bat could finish its lap.
Another lap.
And another!!
Me: Go outside you stupid thing!!!
Two more laps around and...stillness (!) except for the pounding of my yellow-belly chicken heart.
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